Who knows more?

Hey friends,

I want to talk to you about who knows more about your child. You, the parent, or the child care worker?

Some parents think that their child's worker knows more about their child than them. Other parents think the exact opposite. Are they wrong? No, they're not. The parent almost always knows more than the child care worker, but there are some things that the parent(s) can still learn, and they can do that by listening to their child's teacher's advice. Effective communication is extremely important for both parties to properly care for the child!

As child care workers, we can't tell someone how to raise their children (we have no right to), but we can give advice on what may and may not work best. As I addressed in my previous post, "Goodbye burp cloths and exhaustion!", I can advise you to rub your child's back instead of patting him or her, which results in their food being thrown up all over you and/or everything around you.

We all know how much pregnant women hate receiving advice on the birth and how to raise their babies, mostly because all pregnant women are told is the bleak side of things; the negative impact of birth and after birth. For example: "Enjoy your sleep now, because you won't be getting much of it once the baby's born!" And other mothers (and in some cases, fathers) tell grueling, graphic tales of labour. But sometimes it's good to take the advice of other mothers, families and even child carers. No, I'm not suggesting really listening to the graphic horror stories; I'm talking about the helpful advice, like "to avoid throw up, avoid patting a child on their back; instead, rub their backs." "Every child is different, but I'd advise bringing a handful of clean nappies with you wherever you go, along with a change mat, wet wipes and nappy bags into which you can put your dirty nappies."

There are even classes for new parents where you can get more advice from mothers, nurses, and carers. I'd advise even going whilst still pregnant; you never know what handy advice you can get!

My advice for everyone who's already a mother, it's okay to give expectant mothers some useful advice, like resting up before the baby arrives, but just do it in a nice way and leave out all the gory details. It's good to leave some things to the imagination and allowing them to experience them for themselves. Also, please don't tell someone that they look "as big as a whale" or "as big as a house" - if I was told that while pregnant... well, let's just say that I would respond very well. Blame it on the hormones.

So, instead of blatantly telling a pregnant woman any horror stories, try to give some soft, friendly advice to guide her through pregnancy and the early stages of pregnancy. Also, suggest taking her to your mother's group where she can get some more advice from fellow mums and professionals.

When your child's carer gives some helpful advice, keep all ears open.

Tokana

Goodbye burp cloths and goodbye exhaustion!

Hey friends,

Sorry I haven't been writing for a while, but I haven't been inspired to talk about anything before, but now I finally am.

My friend has just had twins and has been posting different articles about twins and how to deal with them, as well as posting her thoughts and asking for advice via her Facebook timeline. They are adorable twins, and despite one of them being scarily thin, they are now relatively happy and healthy.

My friend posted another article recently and it's about the struggles (and pleasures) of raising twins. The author described getting up throughout the night and even though one twin was easy to 'get down', the other wasn't and would be up wailing his little head off for hours on end. The mother, a single parent, was feeling so tired that her head felt as if it was made of lead, and she knew that her eldest child would require her to be up in a matter of hours to tend to her needs and entertain her, and so forth.

The mother then went on to explain that she was constantly covered in regurgitated milk after burping her twins, and it wasn't hard for me to figure out why. I grew up thinking that the only way to burp your baby was to pat it and jiggle it, and the ultimate result was your child not only burping (hip, hip, hooray!) but for them to basically throw it all up, and not just all over itself, but you and everything around you. The whole process would begin again shortly after since the child's tummy is once again empty.

Since completing my certificate in child care I have learned another method, and a puke-free one, of burping your child. Instead of patting and jiggling your child (and you) up and down, gently rub your child's back. Make slow, gentle circular motions with your hand, which is flat against your child's back. I have burped a few babies this way and presto, no more throwing up! Goodbye burp cloths!

You may feel weighed down, exhausted, and looking forward to that light at the end of the tunnel. But I assure you, it does get better and it'll all feel like a distant memory.

But don't take my word for it; just believe.

This is all advice. Do what feels comfortable for you and your child.

I have never had children myself, so I don't have any real, first-hand experience with this. The only relative experience I have with this was with a Maybe Baby, which was named Buffy. I was really excited! What I didn't know was that it was 'faulty', but it provided me with a very real experience. Every child's different, and this one was no exception. Buffy reminded my mother of me: never being able to be set down or sleeping for a long period of time. Buffy was a newborn baby, not being able to support her head. A friend of my mother's held Buffy and accidentally let go of her head, snapping her head back and making Buffy wail. Buffy came with two cloth nappies and we were shown how to put the nappies on. I put the nappy on the right way, and it sometimes worked, but at other times it didn't. If it didn't, I reversed the nappy and it worked. Other times, neither way worked, so I tried feeding her, which didn't work either. I then tried singing to her while I rocked her. She fell asleep! Yay! She woke up day and night and I couldn't get any sleep. I eventually gave her to my mum so I could get some sleep. It was finally time to give her back to the school, and while I didn't want to give her back, as we'd bonded (can you really bond with a robot?), I was also looking forward to getting some sleep. I told my librarian, who was conducting the test, that I tried everything I could, but at times it wouldn't work and that my mum's friend accidentally dropped her head. The librarian was very understanding, went to get the results and came back to tell me that the baby is faulty. Ha! Aren't all babies 'faulty' at one time or another? The end result was that I passed with flying colours. However, I don't feel as if I passed with flying colours; I feel as if I failed by not being able to staying up at all hours due to exhaustion. Also, I love my sleep! I guess I just wasn't ready to have a baby. I don't know if I am at this point, either.

Looking after children in child care, feeding and changing nappies with the support of my fellow carers is vastly different than getting up at all hours of the night as a parent. I can say that looking after children and infants is easy, but I know that's not the case when it's your baby and you're waking up at all hours of the day and night feeding, burping and changing the baby. All I can do is feel empathy for the parents who are showing signs of exhaustion.

So to all of you who are exhausted and covered with milky puke, I may not have a child of my own, but I empathise with you, and I can tell you that it gets better.

Tokana